Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
