Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
