I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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