I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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