Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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