the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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