i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
