he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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