His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i've created a new STD.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
