Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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