he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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