you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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