Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
