So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize