just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
