Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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