so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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