Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How external is "for external use only"?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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