Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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