Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
