One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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