Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He passed out mid-signature
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
