And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So many bounce houses so little time
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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