Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
