i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
