I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize