yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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