why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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