thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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