I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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