we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
