# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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