Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
