I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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