guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
