am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
