38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
