dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
