Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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