he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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