Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
