Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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