the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
