we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
