I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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