Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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