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thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
