Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
