My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
