the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize