thus making me awesome and them whores
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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