don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
