Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
