my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
