i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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