It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
