Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
