I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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