He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize