just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize