It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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