Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
