I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
