He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
