one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it because I queefed?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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