tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
where are my eyebrows?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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